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Stupid stories
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by
on 2007-07-05 09:47:23 (edited 2007-07-05 10:00:59)
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If you have any stupid stories please put em here i would love to read them but here are a few rules: 1) they must be funny 2) they must be stupid 3) no profanity or vulgarity please stories can be funny without being vulgar Thanks for your help Sample story: (he walks slowly to the door) i think ill run now (forgetting that the door was closed) WHAM. (he falls back and screams) Stupid Door!!! why did you have to be closed (*silence*) ANSWER ME !!! (*silence*) if you don't tell me why you are closed then im gonna take your pal The Chair here hostage (*silence*) Ok you asked for it (he takes the chair to the other side of the room and holds onto it as if his life depended on it ) Watcha gonna do now you stupid door huh huh huh im gonna show you im gonna fix your little-red-wagon real good watcha got to say to that? huh punk (*silence*) you really piss me off you stupid door . then the door suddenly opens and his mother walks over to him and says What ARE you doing? he says The stupid door was makin fun of me she says you idiot its a door you must be smarter than the door. 10 minutes later: (He walks in to the door) OW that hurts.. (Oh wait i was supposed to open the door huh he thinks to himself) His mother looks worriedly at him from the other side of the room worriedly and thinks (I wonder if he'll make it through 4th grade this time) |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by
on 2007-07-05 10:07:12 |
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little girl can barerly hear is goes to her grandma and she askes do you want an apple? little girl: what? doo tackles? then she goes to her mom her mom askes do you wan't to go to the store? little girl: huh? there all on the floor? she is playing hide and go seek her brother says im goona get ya!! little girl: there going to get me? she screams and runs in the house the dog poops on the floor little girl: AHHHH!!! the doo it on the floor is going to tackle me!!! her dad comes in the living room what is going on? little girl: its gonna get me!!! dad looks at the poo and laughs that it not very fuuny....^^  |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by kougyounushi
on 2007-07-09 14:33:45
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i try this,,, *in a train, a man standing in the crowd.. suddenly voice: hey you there! yeah you.. *the man looking on his side.. voice: why are you looking on others? man: huh? whats that voice? voice: dont pretend to not hear me.. man: geez, this is weird.. *suddenly the voice screaming.. voice: HEY MAN! i'm calling you... *anger upon hearing man: AND WHO WAS THERE? SHOW YOUSELF! voice: lol, i thought i said i was calling you? man: hell yeah i heard you calling me.. *and all the passenger looking at him.. man: what?! *those passenger just keep on looking.. voice: Hey man, answer me will ya? man: I am answeing you! but show youself first! *suddenly a kid ask him kid: Brother, is that your cellphone that is ringing? *he looks at his sidepocket, his cellphone was shining.. |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by
on 2007-07-12 19:53:21 (edited 2007-07-14 19:38:40)
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YESH that is what i am looking for XDD "I don't like you table!!!" he shouts suddenly at the table. "Im gonna cut you up " And what does he get? the sledge hammer "I'm gonna cut you up really good you stupid table say your prayers." *Wham* *Wham* *WHAM!* The sledge hammer goes thru to the floor. "Haha you stupid table" His mother comes into the room and says in a calm contained voice, "What in gods name are you doing?!?!?" I don't like that Stupid table so i cut it to pieces" "You idiot thats a Sledge Hammer" |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by
on 2007-07-15 21:09:02 |
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Well here's one I pivcked up at a local tv show.... "a japanese wa in a cab alone and bored. He sees a car and asked the driver" Japanese: OH what car is that!*points* taxi Driver: *squint's his eyes to see better* Mitsubishi.... Japanese: oh made in japan very fast, very fast "japaneses sees another car and asks the driver again" Japanese: OH what car is that!*points* taxi Driver: *squint's his eyes to see better* Toyota Japanese: oh made in japan very fast, very fast "japanese sees another car pass by and ask the driver again" Japanese: OH what car is that!*points* taxi Driver: *squint's his eyes to see better* Honda Japanese: oh made in japan very fast, very fast japanese: oh... stop right ovrt there.... *points* "cab stops" japanese: how much? taxi driver: 150 pesos Japanese: why so expensive!? Taxi Driver: *thinks for a while* you see this meter.... made in japan very fast, very fast.....  |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by
on 2007-07-15 23:43:16 |
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I dunno if this is funny or not, but it happened just yesterday My mom and I (and a friend) went to tour my mom's friend's mansion in Beijing. It was a big big big house with losts of rooms of pictures and rocks and trees and stuff. During the explanation of a room full of rocks shaped of animals, my mom said, "Look at that turtle! It's a rock shaped like a turtle!" Her friend said, "No, that one is a real turtle." he points at a rock opposite of the turtle and said, "Thats the rock shaped like a turtle." my mom was kinda angry and kinda embarrassed, so she didn't speak for awhile. When we got to her friends master bedroom, he explained, "I had a dream that trees would overlook my window, so when I wake up, the trees will block the sun gracefully, and Now, I have my dream." he showed us around his room, where most of the things were normal chinese things, others were natural things, like the trees outside his window, and so more small rock formations. My mom couldn't help but say to me, "This is a true Chinese bedroom. Calm, Peaceful, Quie-" she gets interrupted by her friend, "Actually, my bed is from America." |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by kougyounushi
on 2007-07-19 09:41:38
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| seriously that a hell of embarassment for me... Did your mom friends was so blind? ahaha.. sorry for that.. |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by
on 2007-07-24 19:33:06 (edited 2007-07-24 21:32:16)
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One night he got up to go to the bathroom but a he was getting out of bed he saw this huge...thing in the middle of the floor where there should have been nothing. oh no its a huge Spider i hope it doesnt eat me. "hey you stupid spider go away" *nothing happens* maybe its sleeping, "Hey wake up stupid spider!!" *still nothing* Wheres my baseball bat? he thinks. Oh yeah its in the closet stupid bat in the stupid closet thats just great. right when i need it too way to go stupid. he snaps his head back to thing in the middle of the floor. Did it just move?!? he starts to sweat. It must have been my imagination "Are you awake you stupid spider?" His brother in the other room was awoken by all the noise went to investigate. just as he was reaching for the door he heard "...awake you stupid spider." He thought to himself a moment and said, "I'll teach that brat to wake me up" So he waited for him to say something and not long there after he heard "I know your just faking it you stupid spider!!!" And at that point the brother says in a deem rummbling voice "Yesss i am just faking it and now im gonna EAT YOU!!! HAHAHA" And he hears "AHHHHHHH!!" then he bursts into the room yelling, "What is going on you moron?" "The spider is gonna eat me!!!" "Haha you moron" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" *Flip* He turns on the light and says, "Its just your shirt you retard now shut up" This isnt really a story but its stupid and funny: (to the melody of I believe i can fly:) ♬ i believe i can fly i got shot down by the FBI all i wanted was a chicken wing but the bell went Ding A Ling oh i really thought i could sore oh how i tried runnin through that open door but it slammed in my face it really hurt yes it did... |
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Re: Stupid stories
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by
 
on 2007-12-28 10:58:23 |
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A spontaneous stupid story done by me. Hope you like it. Guy#1: *stares at Guy#2s dish* What the hell is that, dude? It smells real bad! Guy#2" Oh, I just got motivated to learn how--- EH, I mean, improvising cooking the dish. Yeah *coughs*, improvising. Guy#1: *raises brow* Yeah... 'improvising' your cooking. Guy#2: *hands over spoon to Guy#1* Try it. Guy#1: *looks at dish, sweatdrops, scared* ...ehh, what is it made of? Guy#2: I can't tell you that *cat grin*... it's a secret recipe. Guy#1: *faces turn blue, huge sweatdrop* ... uhh, fair enough. Better not to know what you put in there anyway. Guy#2: *stares at Guy#1, pokes* Guy#1: *annoyed* Okay, I'll try your 'secret recipe' dish!!! *eats* Guy#2: OOooh, I can't wait to hear from you! I hope it tastes like Italian pasta foods. Wait, make it British food--- Guy#1: *face turns sour* Dude--- Guy#2: Japanese food, HAAAAIIIII~~~!!! Wait wait wait, it must be--- Guy#1: *angry* DUDE!!!---- Guy#2: CHINESE FOOD!!!!! Guy#1: I'LL CHOP SUEY YOU IF YOU SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!!! Guy#2: *went silent, embarrassed, laughs silently* ... is that a joke? Guy#1: For God's sake *accidentally prounounced the word 'sake' "saki"*--- ARRGGHH!!!--- Look, this hell of a dish not just only smells bad, it... tastes funny. Guy#2: Does... it... *makes creepy grin slowly*... ... Guy#1: *scared, sweatdrops, face turns blue* ... ... Guy#2: ... tickle your tastebuds? *laughs like a chipmunk* Guy#1: ARRGH! You are an onion that made my 8 year old sis cried, you are as smelly as garlic and you are as always FISHY!!! Guy#2: I ain't fishy, you--- couch potato!!! Guy#1: *punches Guy#2's mouth* Watch your mouth, cuz you will be the only food tester for your demonic food inventions. |