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Dialogue Grammar Help Please?
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I had to write a dialogue for Japanese class to perform with my partner, and I need to memorize it by friday. Please help me check for grammar! I know the dialogue is kind of weird, but we're only allowed to use phrases and words from the first 4 chapters of our book. Because of this, please do not offer alternate phrases, even if they're better, just tell me if there's anything gramatically wrong, like using the wrong particle, or words that shouldn't be there. Nekorin: Hajimemashite. S: Hajimemashite. Nekorin: Are wa mite kudasai! S: Nan desu ka? Nekorin: Are wa nan desu ka? S: Are wa saifu desu. Nekorin: Honto? *cleans glasses* Honto ni ii saifu desu! S: Anata no saifu desu ka? Nekorin: Chotto misete kudasai. S: Hai, doozo. *hands wallet* Nekorin: Honto ni ii watakushi no saifu desu! S: Sore wa yokatta desu ne! Nekorin: Doomo arigato gozaimashita! S: Dooitashimashite. Nekorin: Kore wa mite kudasai. *holds out book* S: Sore wa nan desu ka? Nekorin: Kore wa nihongo no kyookasho. S: Nihongo no kyookasho doo desu ka? Nekorin: Totemo omoshiroi desu. S: Sore wa yokatta desu ne! Nekorin: Kono hon wo akete kudasai. S: Hai. *takes book* Aah! Nekorin: Daijobu desu ka?! S: Kore wa naifu desu ka?! Nekorin: Sou desu ka?! S: Iie chigaimasu. *takes pencil out of book* Nekorin: Sore wa empitsu desu. S: Ii empitsu desu ne. Nekorin: Maa maa desu. Ja mata. S: Ja mata. Please let me know the problems soon, I can't get my teacher to check for them till wednesday, and by then I fear I won't have enough time to memorize it. |
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Re: Dialogue Grammar Help Please?
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by
 
on 2009-03-10 05:21:33 (edited 2009-03-10 05:24:07)
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Grammatically it's almost perfect but there is one line that you need to review. S: Nihongo no kyookasho doo desu ka? I think it's better if you put it like this: S: Sono Nihongo no kyoukasho wa dou desuka? and there is one point that make a weird conversation. Nekorin: Daijobu desu ka?! S: Kore wa naifu desu ka?! Nekorin: Sou desu ka?! S: Iie chigaimasu. *takes pencil out of book* Nekorin: Sore wa empitsu desu. What I can recommend is a change like this: Nekorin: Daijobu desu ka?! S: Hai, daijoubu desu. Nekorin: Chotto mite. *open the book S: Kore wa nandesuka. *takes pencil out of book* Nekorin: Sore wa empitsu desu. I hope it can help you to improve your Japanese skill. 
For the one who already did their best at anything. |
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Re: Dialogue Grammar Help Please?
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by mewarmo990
on 2009-03-17 00:27:24 (edited 2009-03-17 00:27:42)
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Line 3: "Are wa mite kudasai" should be "Are (w)o mite kudasai" if you mean to say "please look at that". The "wa" particle would make "are" the subject of the sentence, so it wouldn't work. Line 15: Again, "Kore wa mite kudasai" should be "kore *wo* mite". Btw, the particle is almost always pronounced "o" when speaking, but can be romanized as "wo". Otherwise, it is grammatically fine after you make the corrections that quatreyes suggested.
Maka here is an wonderful example of why it's a bad idea to home school your children.
Maybe also a good example of why inbreeding is a bad idea, although the paternity test has not been done to say for sure.
-Gendou
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