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Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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What the hell am I suppose to think when I hear that word? Do I cringe at the thought of it -hell yeah. But that's my opinion talking and my values I have grown to have because of my upbringing...and being a catholic and all. So that's why I'm asking for help. It would be greatly appreciated! What am I suppose to say to someone namely one of your closest friends when they tell you, they are attracted to another member of their family? -And have actually acted upon those feelings and are reciprocated? Do you just go on with your life like nothings wrong and keep it secret from the 'said' family? Here's the story...well the basics. I've grown up with this family ever since I could remember and they're almost like my second family. It really eats me up inside trying to keep this whole thing secret from the unsuspecting members of the so called family about the relationship between 2 of its other members. I want to keep my mouth shut, like a good friend, but I don't know, well scratch that I 'know' this isn't right. And greeting this family everyday, acting like nothing is wrong hurts. I just wanna beat the living crap outta my friend and the 'other' person so bad for laying this on burden on me. I wish that I could just play the ignorant fool like everyone else. When they say ignorance is a bliss all I gotta say is Amen to that! I know I'm being mean, that this is one of my best friends I'm talking about, but sometimes I can't help but feel cheated out of this whole ordeal. I mean at times I can't help but think my friend as the selfish one telling me all this just to get it out of her system because she can't keep it bottled up. Is it wrong for me to also want to say something about it to someone else? Namely the people that is going to get hurt from it all? It's not fair, they're all happy, and I don't want to ruin that, but they're all living a lie. I really need advice on what to do or say about this. And I kinda need your opinion on whether you think incest is wrong. 'They' both seem to really 'love' each other, and I kinda feel sorry for the both of them, but at the same time can't help but believe there is something seriously wrong with them...-I admit I still am naive from the whole situation. Incest isn't the same as being homosexual is it? Like loving someone which society thinks is wrong. I'm not religious, and I'm not narrow minded or right wing when it comes to gay couples I don't care, let people do what they want. But I'm being a hypocrite and I know it, because this is the thing that really screws me over, isn't incest almost the same? So is it okay? |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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| Wow, that is one big problem you got yourself into. Personlly, I think incest is wrong, because of the problems it leads into. Especially if children are involved, the children have more chances of defects, and also trying to explain how that is your father/mother, but also some other part of the family. You should talk to your friend and tell that person that they need to talk to the rest of their family. Secrets don't ever tunr out good if they stay too long. Someone has to say something though. Maybe you should wait for more opinions though, because I don't want you to be led in the wrong driection. This shocked me, and my first impulse is, someone has to know. You don't have to say anything to the parents, but you definately need to talk to your friend. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by
 GeicoGecko
on 2005-10-16 19:37:40 |
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I agree, talk to your friend, he/she should be the first one to break it to his/her family, not you. They will manage to work out the problem on their own, I believe in true love, and if that's how they feel about eachother, truthfully and they believe it, there is nothing wrong with it, but I'm atheist so I can't comment on the religious side of the matter. Chances are, your friend has a "relative romantic relationship" instead of an "intimate romantic relationship". Relative stands for the fact that it's a sentimental attachment to your other family members, and they mistake those feelings as sexual attraction, while an intimate romantic relationship would be any normal romantic relationship. Best thing you could do here is talk to your friend, and tell him/her that, "if you wish to resolve this problem, you MUST talk to your family, even if your family opposes, you'll gain more reassurance." Sometimes rejection is the key to realizing something isn't what it seems. As for you, once your friend has gotten over his problems, we worry about yours. You have problems because you're a catholic, talk to your spiritual advisor, whether that be someone from the church you go to, or a different church, or even your parents. They will make things clear for you on the religious side, remember, confessions are completely confidential. On your own spiritual side you must talk with yourself. What do you actual feel about your friend's feelings? Are you happy for him? Sad? Angry? once you have that straight, you would probably already feel better, and then tell him about it, no use bottling it up, tell your friend about it, tell your family, tell your friend's family, tell everyone who's involved, but only after you're friend has released his side of the information first. I hope this helps, people you can back me up with your comments. 
I'll eat you. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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if they love each other, i dont see a problem, you say you are catholic, but even in religion there is incest, the children of adam and eva did it. and since we all come from adam and eva, we are all related, so incest is everywhere. my family is realigious and would flip out if anything like that happened in the family, but i wouldnt care. you say your friend is selfish for telling you. but what kind of a friend are you if you dont want to help your friend get things out of her system. thats what friends are for, to be there for one another. i can understand your situation, but i dont think its up to you to say something, it isnt your place to tell the family about it, its up to her to do it. i bet its killing her to have to hide it too. its not easy to keep things bottled up. she probably is afraid and needs your support. and she will need you lots more if her family finds out. all that i see that there is for you to do is to be her friend. but thats only my opinion. good luck with it. i hope things turn out good, for you and your friend.  |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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Incest aint a good thing, because it leads to problems. But love is a great thing. If they actually love each other they have my full support. I suggest you give your support whether it is with a smile or frown.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by
 
on 2005-10-17 04:54:31 |
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Hmm... Would you mind posting the their relationship in the family? i.e. mother-son; cousin-cousin; brother-sister... From what I know in Religion: Incest is definitely a SIN It depends though. Are you sure that it's incest?    m y . L i F E . i . t r a d e . i n . f o r . y o u r . P A i N . |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by
GeicoGecko
on 2005-10-17 15:54:19 |
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I would also like to remind everyone, if anyone wishes to have children, but is "too posh to push", or in the case of our incest pair, you could always adopt a child.
I'll eat you. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by luciolahexns
on 2005-10-17 17:00:47
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I think it's up to them. If they only think they've found love... it's one heck of a break up waiting to hapen. Or maybe they do have something deeper. Either way, it's their relationship and you do not have to worry about it. Perhaps the family can see what's going on, and they don't mind it. It's possible the relationship will fade, and you won't have to make a big deal out of anything - especially for no reason. I don't mean to say I have authority on the subject, but I think it's best for them to handle their own lives - and you relieve yourself of the worry that you have.  Diciples of the Greyhound |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by Chick-yasha
on 2005-10-17 18:39:56
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watch Angel Sanctuary Same thing there. I have nothing against, like I see nothing wrong w/ gay coupls, Gays even wanting to adopt childern. But there is one thing that bothers me like others here. It's that they shouldn't have childern of there blood. B/c a first or second cousins it can cause internat problems & they can have extra fingures & thumbs & toes. Or lack of. My grandpa has two thumbs on one hand & all of his brother & sister either had any extra fingure or thumb or toe. & one has a missing thumb. That was b/c of there parents either being first or second cousins. No one else form there childern's childern has such problems. & I'm glad about that. But true love, no maker what form shouldn't be fround apond. The ONLY other thing I feel this way on, the fact of have childern of there blood, not that there together! Is Black & Whites. ONLY b/c each origin has there own diseases that CAN'T be given to other people of different origins. & if the rate of mix childern increase than those diseases could mutate & kill millions on million on billions of people who have no resistance to it. On ALL origins. So I'm never agianst people loveing each other no matter what or who they are. Just what there coupling to preduce childern could bring? People shouldn't be afraid to love each other b/c of this, just adopt a child over haveing one from your own womb/seed... & I am sorry if this upsets anyone, that wasn't my intention. Please forgive me. ~Chick-yash
Never date a guy stranger than you. If so, make sure he's loaded.
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by
GeicoGecko
on 2005-10-17 21:18:32 |
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i think it's about time to leave the thread as it is huh? We given him all the help we can.
I'll eat you. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by luciolahexns
on 2005-10-17 21:31:23
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Gecko, I agree. Before I rip Chick-yasha a new one for the blatant stupidity. Diciples of the Greyhound |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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If they love each other, then it may be excusable. But It might not be love at all they have, just sexual attraction, and maybe your friend is shy or isnt a very outgoing person or doesnt have very luck with other the other boys. That is a factor you have to consider. Maybe your friend was just alone, and that made her more susceptible to have a incestuous relationship. When 2 people are attracted to each other they might look like they love each other, but they arent. It's very hard to know the distinction of them just by looking. Anyway I think incest is wrong, because they cant have a child of their own blood (or atleast not from the guy), and if they have it will be much harder for the children. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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well not to sound ingnorant or mean or something else thats negative... (assuming that this is cousin/cousin because we havent been told what's the relation) I dont think even "true" love can fix this one and wether or not its IS a sin or not i believe the only solution is to try and break them apart (not so much as they'll never talk to each other) and make them either see new people or just fill the void with something like... sports or church or writing (w/e it is the person likes alot) Know I myself am a Catholic (well sort of) but even still setting aside all influenced morals I still believe that it is indeed a sexual attraction (meaning either one or both of them look hot and there acting upon insticts of it) soI think you should try your hardest to break them up, but most important of all DON'T SNITCH ON THEM!!! (THIS WILL LEAD TO A FUED BETWEEN U AND THEM AND IT WONT SLOVE ANYTHING EXCEPT YOUR ASSASINATION!!!) try talking to them about (not morals or religon) thinking of themselves in about 4 years... will they regret this or will they still be hiding this relationship from thier closest people? (ask them this thats the best advice i can give)
"Empires rise and fall, but evil is eternal"
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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Well..... The European royalty would marry their cousins to keep a "Royal Bloodline" and look what it left us with..... Queen Elizabeth Nothing seems to be wrong with her.
Wise Man says: "Take a dog off its leash and it will wander."
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by
GeicoGecko
on 2005-10-18 14:39:25 |
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Gendou, lock this topic please.
I'll eat you. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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I agree please lock but you would understand this being catholic all sex if you think about it is Incest because we all have 2 common ansectors ADAM and EVE but say the least I dont know what country you live in but in the US as long as your 2nd cusins at least its leagal and I can see where you delema is I sugest talking to them about this ask the WHY. this is serous otherwise I would have made a joke here
Death is the gift a blade shall bring,
death is the gift a blade shall sing
why is it my life sucks so much I mean it really sucks
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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| Now that I think once more about it, how can a person think that incest is ok?! do you think that a father-daughter or a son-mother sexual relation is ok?! |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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I forgot to post I feel that incest is one of the worst sins you can commit
Death is the gift a blade shall bring,
death is the gift a blade shall sing
why is it my life sucks so much I mean it really sucks
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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by
GeicoGecko
on 2005-10-19 19:01:12 |
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GUYS, JUST FUCKING DROP THE FUCKING TOPIC! Gendou PLEASE lock this topic.
I'll eat you. |
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Re: Incest -Please help me with this problem!
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Thank you for all you’re advice, I’m truly very grateful to each and everyone of you. I’m positive I’ve acquired more then enough guidance to help me with my problem. I understand what you are all trying to say about the children part, which pretty much all of you mentioned with your comments and statements. -AND TRUST ME I GET THE PART ABOUT THE CATHOLIC PART TOO, though I said I grew up with the upbringings of a catholic, I didn’t say if you’ve noticed that I was very religious, just naïve in my part about incest being ‘that‘ bad, but yes I know the story of Adam and Eve…so um how can I say this politely without offending some people…Lay Off! Please. That was kind of off topic. Anyways the part where this is shocking for me isn’t the fact that they are cousins. Like I said earlier I grew up with the family so the problem resides with the ‘main’ family of the house involving a parent and child. -Though no matter what the case I’ve gotten enough counseling to know what I ‘really’ need is to talk it out with my friend. I admit I probably did sound like an ass for ever trying to run away when a friend needed me/confided in me the most. SO In conclusion I guess…no scratch that I probably will rest easier after talking it out and seeing the whole scenario play through…and if they truly are in love then like one of you said before I should give them my full support baring a smile or frown. That’s what a friend should do…I almost forgot that. Thanks for making me remember. And though you’re all probably telling me to shut the hell up already with all the Thank you’s I swear this is the last time. Thank you, you all really did help me more then you might think. |