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Making Parents Understand
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by
on 2006-02-22 20:32:39 |
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How do you make your parents understand you? I can't make my own parents understand me. Everytime I say something about school or going on field trips; they would shout at me saying like what's the (beep) wrong with you, why are you going too many (Beep) trips and skip school alot, or You should be more like (someone); you see how he/she have good grades, or Like hell, you would get good grade and make into that (beep) college! You are nothing, but a (a long beep) ass! You see, that's what they say to me. I tried to tell them that I'm doing it for community services or I'm giving a speech to middle schooler about high school or to join one the classes that I am in, but they just jump to conclusion and misunderstand so much that I just loss it something. One time my little brother lose his temper, because my mother was shouting at him and telling him something, that he shouted back at her, which makes her cry. I would have done that to my mom, but I can't, because she has cancer and her heart would bleed to death. I am the only person in the family that know she has cancer. She doesn't tell my siblings or my father, only me, because she trusted in me, the oldest child, but when i think about it, i think she lose her trust in me. Everytime, I wanted to say something,but nothing came out. When my parents tell me I'm a idiot; I'm a idiot. When they say I'm stupid or dumb, I'm stupid and dumb. Life is sometime hard; when your parents can't understand, but misunderstand what your doing in life. I don't think anyone understand what I'm saying; which is ok, because I dont understand myself or how life work. XD But I know it will get tougher once I'm older. |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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Well it's not like you came with a handbook when you were born. I think they are trying their best. I think that my parents don't understand me as well. They honestly would take a person out of my life who is very important for reasons unknown. Just because they don't like him or whatever. It is difficult, we can all relate.
woot
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-02-22 20:40:34 (edited 2006-02-22 20:41:41)
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Well, there's not much you can do, to be honest... you can't force someone to see the sense in something if they don't want to, all you can do is show them the light. It's up to them to walk in it. OR.... You could just totally rebel and do whatever you want >:-) *not a good idea* Well, first I'd have to say that skipping school isn't a bright idea. However, going on field trips has nothing wrong in it, so your parents must realize that first. And saying "You should be like X person" isn't a good thing to say to your parents, because then you could find some major dirt in their life and say "You want me to be like that? XD" And believe me, words like "You're a stupid and dumb idiot!" means nothing. It only means something if you are being an idiot. What you do is simply say "Elaborate" in a monotone voice, and see if they can really explain why you're an idiot. If you would, tell me a conversation/argument you guys had, and the thoughts that you had during it, and I'll see if I can give you a few pointers ^_^ PS: Good job for knowing you'll be stronger at the end ^_^ Edit: NOOO! Schala beat me by three seconds!! >_< >_< stupid long post... Well, longer than hers anyway XD  |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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Fine! I can type faster than yoooooouuuuu! Just kidding, I might but there really is no way to tell! haha You give good advice oh great Sachiel!
woot
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by
on 2006-02-23 01:58:53 |
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yah..i can feel what your trying to say Suzuno..life is unpredictable and is hard to explain.. since your the eldest..your mom thinks that you will more understand her and be a good example to your siblings..like you've said your mom has cancer and just think what she feels is more than what you feel right now.. ill leave you with a gorup of words lol words cant kill you, but your conscience will.. 
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by overlordsero
on 2006-02-23 06:35:06
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Dont let it get you down. I am also the oldest in the family and we do not have a father in the household. My mom seriously has nothing good to say to me at all. She also assumes WAY too much. Which assuming makes an ass out of u and me. She will probly never understand why I do what I do. Also I dont even try to tell her things cause she thinks it is called "talking back", ptf I call it speaking my mind. She also thinks I spend too much time on the computer. I see the family, what like, almost EVERYDAY. Also I play with my younger siblings sometimes. And what I dont get is if she kicks me out.....isnt she being hypocritical because she says to do stuff with them and help around the house (which I do, she just doesnt notice or care). I just want her to leave me alone....I am effing 19 yrs old, I need my effing space!!!!! Well just hang in there that is all we can do, at least you have two parents.......my dad is a dead beat you could say.... Anyways we are in this together, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger right? Well that is what I have to say so far so....toodles 
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by desertranger
on 2006-02-23 12:21:09
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Rin thinks I spend too much time on the computer so your not alone. Parenting is a do it yourself thing and despite the amouint of material on the subject. Wer dpon't always do it right.  |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by eternaltorture
on 2006-02-23 13:18:28
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me three... my mom totally hates me being on the internet, and when i do get on, she sets the time... |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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My parents like to think they understand me. All they know of is the mask I give to them. They can have fun trying to understand my mask all they want. I give them the mask they want and all is good between me and my parents.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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my parents are unhappy about me spending too much time on internet either. maybe i AM overdoing it, i don't know. all i can do now is to listen to their so-called "advice" and follow if possible, 'coz we can't afford another surgery for any member in the family anymore. i don't expect anyone to understand me totally, but at least i'm trying to make them feel secure and comfortable about my existence as their eldest child. soon i'll be leaving them (i'm not abandoning them!), and i hope my departure can lighten their burden. mind you, raising a child requires a lot of sacrifices. hmm... why's the mood so solemn. o.O
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current favourite(s): niconico douga!!!!! |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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Oh, I hope things get better for everyone.... :( I don't know if this will help, but my older cousin said once to think of the yelling and stuff as a mind trick, and that you simply have to accept it and ignore it at the same time and you'll be ok (he went to Basic Training for the Air Force). ........ I sincerely confess that I can't do that very well at all, but that may just be me. .................... ...And I am not trying to sound like a stuffy philosopher either...Sorry if it comes off that way... |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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I hope things get better with you my dear. ALWAYS try to stay strong.
a. bai
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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I experienced the same thing as well. Almost everything that I did are not good enough to sastify them..no matter how hard I tried. All my mom said everyday is about my weakness, and my mistakes. She got mad at me for the simplest mistake that I made. But I never tried to speak up against her, because... 1) I just didn't dare and 2) it's just that I can't bring my voice out whenever she yelled at me, no matter how much I wanted to. I figured out in the end, that it's better to wear mask, pretending to be someone I'm not, in order to pleased her. And tried to keep away from her as much as possible. Similar to Jomunga, my parents think that they always know about what I'm thinking, and what do I like best. And in actual fact, what they think I was "thinking" is actually a fake smile, or a fake idea on my mask. I "say" that things that I like the most, are the stuff that they espect me to like. I know it's wrong to wear this fake mask and emotions. But I guess I don't really have any other choice. Do u think its wrong to wear mask, but to keep my parents sastified? |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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well, it's kinda sad having parents who have high expectations. especially those who want their children to be smarter than anyone else. my friends and i had recently gotten back our government exam results (we're supposed to use that for university applications), and a friend of mine called his mom once he got his. he's definitely one of the top students in school, but what his mom merely said was: "why did you get a B grade for your biology??????"
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current favourite(s): niconico douga!!!!! |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by Seculi Terminus
on 2006-03-04 01:29:40
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@sachi: doesn't complete rebellion work? 'cuz that's what I do... works pretty well for me >:) @desertranger: you're back!? I heard you went crazy and killed someone! >.> well, nice to hear you're doing better now~ sometimes you just gotta let out a little steam, that's all~~~ That's my $0.02. Plus change. AKA Home-Dog Ass-Masta' The G-Unit |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by
on 2006-03-04 01:43:06 |
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My parents dont understand me either. Lately i dont even care what my dad says. I hate him so much i dont even pay attention to him anymore(just ignore him). I used to try and make my point but he`d have a go at me or something(after telling me to not be afraid to speak my mind....heh). Nowadays i dont even comlain. All i say is: Yes dad....sorry dad.....i know i was wrong....sorry....etc That kind of thing. My mom doesnt understand me but i still respect her wishes and try to do what she asked of me. I personally think that its almost inmpossible for parents to understand his/her child. Because of the age difference and also because we were brought up in a different environment than they were. We think different..... You never know....maybe in 20 or so years when you all have children you`ll have trouble understanding him. And he will too write something like this on Gendou or Gendou 2 or something like that.....LOLZ 
I prefer being alone so do me a favor and leave me be.... |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by kageno_tsuki
on 2006-03-04 05:06:13
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hold on. dont let go. that would really work. i know the feeling of making people understand. i got dictated a lot. they always tell me what to do, of whom i should be and what major i should take in college. but i never gave up on what i really want. i ignored what they say, because reasoning out doesnt work with them. i never gave in to what they say. i wasnt rebelling, because that would make matters worst. what i did was to believe that i can be what i want to be without being rebellious and stuff. often times even, all they see are my imperfections and they try to rub that on my face, but i again, i didnt mind because i know that if i try hard and that if i hold on i can prove to them that i can be somebody, that i can actually be who i want to be, and that i can actually suceed without people tellling me what i should do or letting them understand who i am.. remember, to believe in who you are... and hold on tight, were here for you... remember too that you really cant expect people to understand you all the time... ^_^ All of them... they seem so perfect...yet so fake... |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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Retaliation works sometimes. But u must be aware of when u can use it and what level works. When i get pissed off at some complaint from my parents i just start putting myself down. Everytime they ask me to do somethin, I'll just say something like "oh, i'm too stupid, dumb and useless to do this and that." Then usually they'll reply, after feeling sorry for me, saying that i'm not useless, that i like to do things at my own pace, and that they'll back off a bit. If ur parents start to compare u with personX, just complain about how ur sorry that personX isn't their child, and how u hope they'd be happier when u move out. Also u could try suggesting to them to cease all communications to u for u are a burden to them, and that by discontinuing daily conversations both sides would have less worries and stress. These suggestions would work best if u add a somber tone to it. Start frowning a lot and get frustrated at things. If all else fails, threaten them with plans for their future nursing homes. :) |
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Re: Making Parents Understand
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by
on 2006-03-04 06:11:58 |
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you can't make parents understand you the way you wanted to be understood, because most of them believe that there's no way they are not understanding their kids since they believe they've been through a lot of our experiences. they often think they are superior to us especially because you're a minor. just explain things the way a son or a daughter should explain them to parents. but if parents don't want to even listen, that's another problem and a big one. i wouldn't tell you my story, because i knew why it's hard for my parents to understand me so i don't force them to understand me. i had often fell into thinking that it would be nice if we have the same interests and principles so that instead of us fighting over the things i love doing we would just be doing the same things together, but, i am very contented with the kind of parents i have. instead of making them understand me, i exert a lot of efforts in understanding them. because i believe we have different experiences even if they had been son or daughter once in their lives. we grew up in different surroundings and in different manner. we absolutely have a lot of differences. and i have many reasons why i feel i'm more superior to them so i have to do the understanding.  |
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agree. i do realise that my parents and i grew up in different family backgrounds, and that made a lot of differences. just a hint about what do i mean by "different backgrounds": my dad grew up during WW2, my mom grew up after WW2, and i grew up (am growing up) during the transition of 20th century into 21st century. see the difference? that's why i can't blame that our way of thinking are simply.. different. gij-san has a point. trying to understand our parents ourselves instead of making them understand us is actually a way of fostering a closer bond between us and parents.
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current favourite(s): niconico douga!!!!! |